Living Vicariously Through Coffee Creamer

When you’re trying to be healthier, you have to give things up you enjoy. You realize there’s a reason you got to this place and a lot of the junk you stuff into your piehole is what you really shouldn’t be eating anyhow. Stuff like pints of Ben and Jerry’s, Little Debbie cakes, or grilled cheese sandwiches.

When dieting, there is one thing I refuse to give up. It’s non-negotiable. It’s not even a food really. It’s coffee creamer.

To me, coffee creamer is like the last small pleasure I’ll allow myself in my morning brew. It takes me places I’m not allowed to go with way less calories. Yes, the stuff’s full of chemicals. Yes, I know this. I actually prefer the Natural Bliss varieties, which aren’t that bad, but I digress.

Coffee creamer lets me have Girl Scout Cookies. It lets me have ice cream. It enables all sorts adventures in tastiness in my mouth. This is why I won’t abandon my dear coffee creamer. And when I’m out of coffee creamer, I’m one cranky bitch.

So, world, what is your favorite variety of coffee creamer?

The Climb

My cousin joined me at the gym yesterday. By the time she got there, I had already done two miles on the treadmill. I was ready to quit, though, because while I was walking fast, everyone around me was running. I feel like a such a wuss just walking, but it’s what I have to do for now. My knees are too jacked to kick it into high gear and run (more on that later).

My cuz and I decided to try one of the ‘group’ classes. It’s not really a live group class. There’s a touch screen in a big empty room and you can choose any kind of workout you want. Thinking we were badasses for the day, we selected kickboxing.

For the next 40 minutes, we kickboxed. I felt muscles in my body that I haven’t felt in years. And then I was done. My left knee started crying like, “PLEASE STOP.” So I did. I did some stretches and then headed home, drenched in sweat, feeling like maybe I just accomplished something.

I was even good and iced my knee as soon as I got home. I woke up this morning feeling like an 80-year old.

I’ve been eating better, but I don’t feel the pounds melting away yet. Sometimes I wonder if I have a thyroid problem or something. I’m supposed to get that tested later this month.

After a long, wholly stressful day at work, I couldn’t muster the energy to drive to the gym. I went for a bike ride instead. It’s amazing to me how winded I get from that. I’ve got a long way to go before I’m in good shape again. It’s gonna be a climb, for sure.