Tag Archives: doctors

Tales from Unexplained Uterus-Land

3 Jan

I’m so bad about posting in here. It’s probably because I’m tired. Really, really tired. See, I’m 9 months postpartum. That wouldn’t really matter much, and I’m going to go full-blown TMI here, but I’ve had my period for FORTY-FIVE DAYS STRAIGHT.

Yes, 45 days. No break. All the bleeding. All the fun. I’m single-handedly responsible for keeping the feminine product industry alive. Also, I broke down and tried those free-bleed Thinx underwear because I was losing my mind with the tampons and the pads and the will-this-ever-end?!?! feelings. The answer? Nope, never gonna end. Aunt Flo is here to stay.

I called my doctor around day 20-something. He did an ultrasound with dildo-cam (my favorite, haven’t had one since I was pregnant and I had so many of those when I was at the fertility center) and had me take a blood test.

Guess what, you guys. Both came back normal. My uterus, while misbehaving currently, is apparently normal. No fibroids, no polyps, not even any cysts, which I am known for producing at expert-level since I have PCOS. My blood work also came back normal. According to my doctor, my bleeding is “unexplained.”

Um, what?

So, he sent me on my merry ho-ho-ho way, all “unexplained” and everything with a prescription for progesterone that he told me to go ahead and start taking to make my period stop.

Christmas came and I was like:

Blackboard with the text: All I Want For Christmas in a conceptu

Santa didn’t deliver. That rat bastard.

Then New Year’s came and I was like:

Hand writing Resolution for 2017 with marker, concept background

2017 didn’t do me a solid and end this madness, either. Thanks for nothing.

 

I took the progesterone. I took all of it (as prescribed, of course). While it decreased the intensity of Aunt Flo, it didn’t make her go back into hiding. That brings us to today, day 45 of this blood-filled journey.

I left my doctor a message today to let him know the progesterone didn’t work, but only after my husband bugged me to call their office (I must be a real peach being on the rag this long). His office called me back later to tell me I have two options —

  1. Try a prescription that’s basically birth control to see if that kicks my lady parts back into gear.
  2. Get in a D&C (outpatient surgery) to try to “reset my uterus.”

They even said I could schedule the D&C now if I wanted. Um, how many times can a person go under the knife? I mean, really? I HAVE HAD SO MANY SURGERIES. Why haven’t we tested my hormones or my thyroid to make sure it’s not one of those? Why am I the one asking this stuff? Why are doctors so quick to recommend surgery before getting to the root of the problem? I DO NOT UNDERSTAND. Do I need to go find myself a good endocrinologist now?

Also, I have feelings about going back on the pill. I’ve been off of it since 2012-ish. I don’t really want to go back on it. I would like to have another kid, but I don’t know if it’s in the cards for me given my infertility woes and lovely PCOS. I don’t know if I’m willing to go through everything I went through before again. It was really stressful and I felt really alone when I was going through it. I’d rather it happen naturally if it’s meant to be, which probably means nothing would happen. I guess I’m okay with that, too. I have a healthy, happy, entertaining little boy already, which is more than I could ever ask for.

Anyway, this is mostly a vent. I’m tired. I’m cranky. I’m in pain. I’m bleeding.

I’d really like for this to stop already.

 

 

The Mom Groove and the New Normal

16 May

So, I’ve been a mom for almost two months now … and this is my last week of maternity leave before I go back to work next Monday. I celebrated my first Mother’s Day as a mother and with my own mom, which was awesome. After the last year of health scares with parents, I am so grateful and thankful to be able to spend time with my mom and my little one. She and my dad are so cute with him.

We also survived our first road trip with a kid. We drove from Michigan to Virginia to see my mother-in-law and sister-in-laws with the baby when he was 5 weeks old. It was sanctioned by our pediatrician, who said we were good to go when he clocked in at almost 14 pounds at his 5 week check-up. I was terrified of the trip, overpacked a TON, but it ended up being really okay. Baby Nick was a champ in the car and only got fussy about 30 minutes from our arrival. We had a lot of firsts on the trip — the first time we took him to a restaurant, the first time we let someone babysit, the first time we used the Pack & Play, the first time we stayed in a hotel with an infant, the first time I pumped in a car, the first major poo blowout (followed by many more) requiring outfit changes, the first time meeting Grammy and all his Aunties, and many more I’m probably forgetting.

I’ve learned it takes a ton of time to get ready and out out the door now. We basically have to plan for at least an hour or two longer than it took us pre-kid. It requires a lot of logistics – Do we have enough diapers in the diaper bag? Are there enough wipes? Did we bring the Gripe Water? Do we have his pacifier? Did we pack a blanket? Did we include at least two outfit changes? Do we have a bottle? Did we bring the pump? Do we have any formula? Do we have burp cloths? Many times, this kid looks more put together than I do because by the time I have all his needs met, there isn’t any time for me to get ready … or I just don’t care what I look like anymore.

So, about breastfeeding. Oh, breastfeeding. I could probably write an entire entry just on this topic. There is a shitload of pressure on new moms to breastfeed the shit out of their children. It’s everywhere. I have consultants calling me several times a week asking how I am doing with it … and you know what? Pardon my language, but I am SICK TO FUCK OF TALKING ABOUT MY BOOBS (which, ironically, I am posting about right now, but you get what I mean).

It all started back in those pregnancy and breastfeeding classes we took. I thought, yeah, I can do this! And I started off on this journey of thinking I was breastfeeding no matter what. It went so far that I had that stupid dream a week or so before I went into labor. In it, I birthed the little guy (naturally, btw, HAHAHAHA), and they put him on me and he immediately latched on and I celebrated being the BREASTFEEDING CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!

So, let’s fast forward to the actual birth….the emergency c-section that I could still FEEL (the joy of being a redhead and having epidurals and a spinal NOT WORK). They pulled the little guy out of me, he got assessed and weighed, and then they handed him to my husband…and then I got to see him … but we didn’t get to hang until we were in recovery. BUT, and I swear to you this is the truth, when they put him on me, he did latch on immediately and start feeding and I did lay there thinking OMG, I am a prophet and my dream was true!

Sadly, that’s about where the sunshine and puppies of initial breastfeeding ended. After that, we had some major latching issues, lots of discussions about whether they thought they should clip his tongue (it’s heart-shaped and they thought he might be tongue-tied), meeting after meeting with lactation consultants in the hospital, and many tears, because holy moly, that kid was hurting my boobs! There was blood, there were blisters, and cracking, and hurting, and discomfort. Breastfeeding is hard. It’s even harder when you feel like you’re not giving your kid everything he needs.

So yeah, because little (big) guy was losing weight, we had to start supplementing my breast milk with formula while we were in the hospital. And it’s something we’ve had to continue to this day because I just can’t produce enough milk for this huge baby and his voracious appetite. In fact, I started to feel like I was going insane once we got home and he’d feed on my boobs for 2-3 hours at a time. I felt like I was a milk slave. I couldn’t do anything or go anywhere – my whole existence was wrapped up in feeding my kid … constantly.

I lasted about 3 weeks like that. Then, rather than be this sad, sorry shell of a zombie person who cried constantly, I decided to start pumping more and not letting him on my boobs. I found I was a much happier person doing this. I do still occasionally let him on my boobs, but now it’s when I want to and when he’s happy, so we’re both cool with it and not frustrated or in pain. And yeah, we still supplement. Basically, I feed him breast milk all day long and at night we give him formula. And we usually do formula if we’re out and about because I’m just not one of those moms who’s comfortable whipping her tatas out in public … though I am an expert at in-car pumping.

As I said earlier, this is my last week of maternity leave. I feel like it flew by so fast. We had this whole childcare situation that really threw me for a loop … basically, the person who was going to watch our kid when I went back to work bailed on us when I was 8 months pregnant (cue crying). My husband and I talked about it and weighed our options and costs and decided we could afford for him to take off work for a year to be a stay at home daddy. I’d be lying if I wasn’t really jealous about it, but I’m the primary breadwinner in our family, so we can’t afford for me to be a stay at home mommy and for him to be the sole provider. I have irrational fears that now he’s going to love my husband more than me and I’m going to miss out on all kinds of important baby milestones and moments. It makes me sad and I know it’s stupid, especially since I work from home when I’m not traveling and can easily be summoned if something cool is going down in kid land.

Oh, I also had my 6-week postpartum check-up last week (at 7 weeks). Why didn’t anyone warn me that the postpartum pap smear hurts?! My God, it was painful! I made it through 28 hours of labor with crazy contractions, an emergency c-section, recovering from said c-section, and then a pap smear hurts?! What the hell? My doctor said it’s because my estrogen levels are low because I breastfeed. It has me a little worried about how sex is going to feel … not that I’m wanting any of that lately. I’m way bummed about pregnancy weight and how much things have shifted around after having a kid. I’m squishy now. I need to get motivated to lose it now that I’m cleared to do more physical activity.

Well, this turned into more of a lengthy missive than I intended and the little guy is ready for another feed. Until next time!

 

 

 

 

Nearing Term

25 Feb

So much has transpired since I last wrote. I’m now at 36.5 weeks. Almost full-term!

Last weekend, we had another baby shower. This time, one with all of our friends at a brewery. It was great. My BFF flew out earlier in the week with my Goddaughter to visit. Oh, and because my BFF is a total rock star, she helped us install our car seat so we don’t have to worry about it. It’s in the car already! She told us the worst part of having a kid is the car seat. She wasn’t lying. It’s complicated. I’m so glad we don’t have to worry about it now.

My husband’s sisters (all three) and one of his aunts (a cool one) all flew out to see us, too. Then while we were at dinner one night, I was surprised by two of my oldest and dearest friends who drove 500 miles to celebrate with us, too. I cried some big, fat tears of joy. The day after the shower, more of my husband’s relatives drove over to see us from across the state. We hosted a brunch for them and everyone else who was in town. We were completely surrounded by a love tornado all weekend long. It was amazing.

Needless to say, there was a lot of activity (and laughs and tears) for a few days. By the time everyone departed to their corners of the world, I was beat. I’m starting to get swollen all the time — troll feet and cankles! I’ve been exhausted, too.

Yesterday, I thought I might be showing signs of early labor, so I was glad I had an OB appointment to discuss what’s going on. I think baby boy is starting to descend, so I’m feeling crazy pressure on my pelvis. Oh, I’ve also developed pregnancy carpal tunnel in my right hand. That’s annoying.

I have what feels like a billion thank-you cards to write. I’m so behind. Hubby and I spent last night putting gifts away in the baby’s room. This kid has so many clothes! It’s insane!

To go off on a total tangent, I really wish I had known about The Spoiled Mama products earlier in my pregnancy. Early on, I used The Honest Company Organic Belly Balm, but I didn’t really care for the smell or the consistency. Then I used Bio-Oil for months and months, which was fine, but really nothing special. A few weeks ago, I stumbled on The Spoiled Mama when I was looking for something to better treat my stretch marks because I was starting to get a whole bunch of them.

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE The Spoiled Mama products. I have really sensitive skin and I get itchy and red a lot. Bio-Oil was okay for the itching. The Honest Company didn’t really help that at all, but The Spoiled Mama is awesome. I haven’t had any problems since I started using it. I use three of their products daily and they have helped so much – I’m never itchy anymore and they are really helping with stretch marks.

  1. sugar-scrub-for-stretch-marksIndulge Body Polish Peppermint & Vanilla: This stuff is great! I use it first thing in the morning in the shower. It leaves my skin feeling so soft and moisturized. The peppermint scent gives me a little bit of a wake-up in the morning, too. The only downside is that it makes your shower floor a little slick, so be careful. You might have to clean the shower more frequently than normal.
  2. bump gloss stretch mark oil_cap off -xl4Bump Gloss Stretch Mark Oil: I slather this all over my bump and stretch marks. It absorbs pretty quickly and a little goes a long way. It’s similar to the Bio-Oil I was using, but smells better.
  3. tummy-butter-for-stretch-marks-4ozTummy Butter for Stretch Marks: Okay, this one is my absolute favorite. It smells great – kind of like a mix of citrus and chocolate. It goes on easy and absorbs quickly – and you don’t feel greasy (my problem with Honest Company Belly Balm). I really, really wish I had known about this when I got pregnant. It’s a great product! I can’t say enough good things about it.

I have to touch on infertility for a minute. You know, it’s really hard not to be sensitive about people’s comments even when you are finally pregnant. Some of our relatives made comments this past weekend about how we need to plan for a second kid now — just completely insensitive remarks. They have no idea how many years and science it took to get us to where we are now. My husband’s sisters know how much we struggled, so they shot me some understanding glances when this was happening, but still. People really need to keep their mouths shut when it comes to pressuring couples about babies. It really is none of their business. And frankly, I don’t know if we’ll be able to have another kid. It was so hard getting pregnant with this one! Honestly, I don’t know if I could go through all of that again. Also, I’m getting older! I’ll be 37 later this year. It just might not be in the cards for us to have a second child. I wish people could just be happy for this miracle and not try to put pressure on us to have more kids. We’re thrilled that we get to be parents in a few weeks. This kid might be our only kid and we are okay with that – why can’t everyone else be?

You Want Me To Do What? And, Hey, Let’s Wait.

28 Jun

Saturday was a whirlwind.

Husband got up early to go to the fertility clinic and create a specimen. He sent me a lovely photo of the “room” they put him in. It consisted of a toilet and a hospital recliner. Sexy times!

We both went back to the clinic later that morning and met with my acupuncturist. But before that happened, I got super nervous in the parking lot and had to run into the building to go to the bathroom. Thanks, nerves.

Once we arrived, my acupuncturist met us in the waiting room. He needled me up in the IVF recovery area, which is not exactly the optimal “chill” kind of places. Lights were on. People were talking. Music was playing. I hummed along to Tom Petty’s The Waiting and Journey’s Lovin’, Touchin’ Squeezin’. Before I knew it, I was getting de-needled and headed back to the waiting room.

I felt like i had a small entourage with my acupuncturist and husband both being there, my Reproductive Posse. Eventually, they took hubby and I back to a room where I disrobed from the waist down. The nurse came in, had us verify a bunch of facts — gotta make sure the seed is the seed you need!

The IUI procedure in itself didn’t last very long. It was similar to getting a pap smear. No big deal. Immediately after, they raise your derrière up in the air for 15 minutes and you lay there willing your mate’s boys to GO FOR THE GOLD. For me, it was longer because my acupuncturist came into the room and needled me up a second time. Which, you know, was only mildly awkward considering he could see all of my nether regions (I’m guessing) since I was only covered up by a flimsy paper cloth. Yeah, buddy! It’ll be fun looking you in the eye the next time I see you!

So, I laid there a 2nd time with more needles in me for about 20 minutes. Husband and I talked about random things while we waited. Then we were done, I got all the needles pulled out of me, and we left. In the car, he asked me if it was as good for me as it was for him. Ha, what a joker! Just a fun 3 hours at the fertility clinic on a Saturday hoping that it results in progeny!

Oh, before we left, the nurse said we can take a home pregnancy test in TWO weeks. Why do I feel like the next 13 (12, really) days are going to drag on and on and on and on? Oh, and she told me to start my progesterone today … but not orally. She told me to insert the pills vaginally. Say what, lady? You want me to do what?! Yes, insert the pills vaginally. Um, okay. Of course I looked online and other ladies have done this (of course). They all complained of stained underwear. Fun. Super. Time to break out the 2nd string undies.

And for now, we wait. And hope. And wait. And try not to think about it (HA!).

It’s Go Time

25 Jun

We have our go-forward plan from my RE’s office.

  1. I take the Ovidrel trigger tonight at 10 p.m.
  2. My husband goes in to leave his specimen at 7:15 a.m. (sorry, honey) on Saturday.
  3. I meet up with my acupuncturist at the fertility center at 9:45 a.m. on Saturday.
  4. The IUI is at 10:30 a.m. on Saturday.
  5. When it’s over, I have the second acupuncture needling done with my acupuncturist.
  6. I start taking progesterone again on Sunday.
  7. WE WAIT.

I think it’s so cool the fertility center allows acupuncturists to come on site and do their acu-magic. I’m even more excited that my acupuncturist for the last 2 years gets to come help me. Being around people you trust matters and I consider him a trusted friend. I remain cautiously optimistic about everything. I see a glimmer of hope.

I am sure the waiting will be the hardest part. Probably harder than giving up cheese. I sure do miss cheese. Especially Parrano.

In other news, today was the day of blood draws. I had one done to check my estrogen at the fertility center this morning. I had two more at the hospital when I (finally) went for my GI Distress Test and B-12 check. I went to the lab closest to me that also happens to be in the children’s hospital. It was incredibly sad seeing so many sick little ones. Seeing kids struggling to breathe on their own breaks my heart. 😦

Hurry Up And Wait.

25 Jun

I had an super early morning appointment at the fertility center to check follicles and determine when we’ll have the IUI done. When I got to the clinic, the doors were locked and there was a woman and her husband waiting on the bench. We started talking and she told me they are doing IVF and have been trying for 7 years. I feel for her. That is rough.

Once I got called back, the lab lady took my blood and another lady did the ultrasound. She said I had one good looking one and several smaller ones … and then told me nothing about our next steps. Apparently, the nurses don’t come in until 8 and they are the ones looking at my labs and ultrasound and putting together ‘the plan.’ After that, then the doctor either agrees or modifies ‘the plan.’ What this means is that I won’t know anything until later this afternoon. Ultrasound lady did tell me that she thinks the doc will have me stay on the injections another day or two (awesome, can’t wait for more headaches and dancing to Follicle Inferno that’s happening inside me). Burn, baby, burn, follicle inferno! Her best guess was that it’ll be Monday or Tuesday.

Don’t they know Type A personalities don’t deal well with life in limbo? Also, my boss is letting me have whatever day it ends up being on off of work, so I’d really like to know so I can give him some advance notice. *sigh*

In other news, my acupuncturist says he goes to the fertility center to do before/after acupuncture for women having IUI and IVF procedures. He gave me his cell phone number to arrange that, which I think will be awesome. I need all the help I can get!

It’s Never As Bad As You Think It’s Gonna Be

22 Aug

I had my physical this morning. I had myself all worked up thinking I was going to get lectured about being a fattie. That’s not at all what happened. Instead, my doctor listened to me and my concerns. He even let me know that I have lost some weight since the last time I was there. Which is good and bad. Good because, yay, I lost weight. Bad because that means my starting weight was probably fatter than what I posted on here. *womp, womp*

My doc sent me for a boatload of blood work, including testing my thyroid. Hopefully by this time next week, I’ll know if there is something wrong with me and what it is. He also referred me to an orthopedic doc for my knee issues. Hopefully I’ll get that sorted out soon, too.

Hey, at least my blood pressure was good. I’ve got that going for me.

 

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