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39 Weeks

17 Mar

Well, I’m still pregnant. I’m really ready to have this kid. It’s getting harder and harder to sleep, get comfortable, move, eat, and generally exist. I guess he’s not ready to make his debut just yet, though.

Next week, I start non-stress tests and stress tests to make sure he’s still doing okay since I’ll be past my due date at that point. My OB imparted this lovely wisdom on me yesterday. He said, “Usually when women say they’re done with being pregnant and ready to deliver, they have about a month left to go. When they’re completely miserable, it’s usually another week.”

Fantastic. Lump me into that completely miserable category.

I am very excited to meet the little one. When I do sleep, I’ve had crazy vivid dreams. I had one where I delivered and they put him on me and he immediately latched on and started feeding. I was rejoicing and telling everyone I was the BREASTFEEDING CHAMPION OF THE WORLD! It was so real that I woke up thinking I was in the hospital and had just nodded off. Nope. Just a dream.

I took a scary tumble toward the end of last week. Our cat bolted out of the house when I opened the front door and I was chasing after her and fell on our porch. I caught my hand on the siding by our front window and sliced my hand open. Thankfully, I did not fall on my stomach. I fell on my knees, so they took the brunt of the tumble. It did not feel good and I am still not trusting that shady little kitty. What a punk!

 

 

38 Weeks

6 Mar

I’m ready to have this kid, y’all. I hurt everywhere, doing anything is a chore, I get heartburn from daring to drink water, and even getting in and out of the car is hard. I also have pregnancy carpal tunnel. That’s just more annoying than anything. I’m looking forward to feeling my hand again. It is TIME. 

I’m worried I won’t know when I’m in labor. My BFF didn’t know. Everyone says “you will know,” well, what if you don’t? I have started feeling more violent contractions lately, but none of the 5-1-1 business they tell you to watch for before you call the doctor.

Of course, of course, all the suffering and little annoyances will be worth it times a million once he gets here. I can’t wait to meet the little guy. I’m excited to meet him and terrified labor will be excruciating. I’m excited to be finally be a mom and terrified to be in charge of a tiny human life. These must be the yins and yangs of parenthood. 

Nearing Term

25 Feb

So much has transpired since I last wrote. I’m now at 36.5 weeks. Almost full-term!

Last weekend, we had another baby shower. This time, one with all of our friends at a brewery. It was great. My BFF flew out earlier in the week with my Goddaughter to visit. Oh, and because my BFF is a total rock star, she helped us install our car seat so we don’t have to worry about it. It’s in the car already! She told us the worst part of having a kid is the car seat. She wasn’t lying. It’s complicated. I’m so glad we don’t have to worry about it now.

My husband’s sisters (all three) and one of his aunts (a cool one) all flew out to see us, too. Then while we were at dinner one night, I was surprised by two of my oldest and dearest friends who drove 500 miles to celebrate with us, too. I cried some big, fat tears of joy. The day after the shower, more of my husband’s relatives drove over to see us from across the state. We hosted a brunch for them and everyone else who was in town. We were completely surrounded by a love tornado all weekend long. It was amazing.

Needless to say, there was a lot of activity (and laughs and tears) for a few days. By the time everyone departed to their corners of the world, I was beat. I’m starting to get swollen all the time — troll feet and cankles! I’ve been exhausted, too.

Yesterday, I thought I might be showing signs of early labor, so I was glad I had an OB appointment to discuss what’s going on. I think baby boy is starting to descend, so I’m feeling crazy pressure on my pelvis. Oh, I’ve also developed pregnancy carpal tunnel in my right hand. That’s annoying.

I have what feels like a billion thank-you cards to write. I’m so behind. Hubby and I spent last night putting gifts away in the baby’s room. This kid has so many clothes! It’s insane!

To go off on a total tangent, I really wish I had known about The Spoiled Mama products earlier in my pregnancy. Early on, I used The Honest Company Organic Belly Balm, but I didn’t really care for the smell or the consistency. Then I used Bio-Oil for months and months, which was fine, but really nothing special. A few weeks ago, I stumbled on The Spoiled Mama when I was looking for something to better treat my stretch marks because I was starting to get a whole bunch of them.

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE The Spoiled Mama products. I have really sensitive skin and I get itchy and red a lot. Bio-Oil was okay for the itching. The Honest Company didn’t really help that at all, but The Spoiled Mama is awesome. I haven’t had any problems since I started using it. I use three of their products daily and they have helped so much – I’m never itchy anymore and they are really helping with stretch marks.

  1. sugar-scrub-for-stretch-marksIndulge Body Polish Peppermint & Vanilla: This stuff is great! I use it first thing in the morning in the shower. It leaves my skin feeling so soft and moisturized. The peppermint scent gives me a little bit of a wake-up in the morning, too. The only downside is that it makes your shower floor a little slick, so be careful. You might have to clean the shower more frequently than normal.
  2. bump gloss stretch mark oil_cap off -xl4Bump Gloss Stretch Mark Oil: I slather this all over my bump and stretch marks. It absorbs pretty quickly and a little goes a long way. It’s similar to the Bio-Oil I was using, but smells better.
  3. tummy-butter-for-stretch-marks-4ozTummy Butter for Stretch Marks: Okay, this one is my absolute favorite. It smells great – kind of like a mix of citrus and chocolate. It goes on easy and absorbs quickly – and you don’t feel greasy (my problem with Honest Company Belly Balm). I really, really wish I had known about this when I got pregnant. It’s a great product! I can’t say enough good things about it.

I have to touch on infertility for a minute. You know, it’s really hard not to be sensitive about people’s comments even when you are finally pregnant. Some of our relatives made comments this past weekend about how we need to plan for a second kid now — just completely insensitive remarks. They have no idea how many years and science it took to get us to where we are now. My husband’s sisters know how much we struggled, so they shot me some understanding glances when this was happening, but still. People really need to keep their mouths shut when it comes to pressuring couples about babies. It really is none of their business. And frankly, I don’t know if we’ll be able to have another kid. It was so hard getting pregnant with this one! Honestly, I don’t know if I could go through all of that again. Also, I’m getting older! I’ll be 37 later this year. It just might not be in the cards for us to have a second child. I wish people could just be happy for this miracle and not try to put pressure on us to have more kids. We’re thrilled that we get to be parents in a few weeks. This kid might be our only kid and we are okay with that – why can’t everyone else be?

One Baby

7 Aug

We had our 8 week ultrasound this morning and everything looked great. It’s confirmed now that there is one baby hanging out in my uterus. We also heard the heartbeat for the first time. It took my breath away and I teared up. I think my husband did, too. I can’t put into words how I felt. I am so happy to have this little life growing inside me. After struggling so long with infertility and monthly heartbreak, this is such a blessing in our lives.

On my way home, Kelly Clarkson’s Heartbeat Song was on the radio. How fitting. 

iMac Held Hostage by Geniuses for 5 Days

16 Jul

I’ve been kinda quiet lately. Mostly because my iMac’s hard drive decided it no longer wanted to live (the thing’s just over a year old!) and I had to take my giant iMac to the Apple Store for a Genius Bar appointment. I sat there for two hours while they tried to determine what was wrong (hard drive). Thankfully, they were able to get my files transferred over to my external drive, so all wasn’t lost, but they kept my computer for five days “fixing” it. I wasn’t motivated enough to post an entry from my phone.

So, yes, last Saturday the blood test confirmed that I am pregnant. It’s news that is still shocking to me. I had acupuncture scheduled on Monday, so I walked in and gave my acupuncturist a high five and told him I’m pregnant. That was pretty fun. He is excited for us and is going to spend the next nine months keeping me mellow.

My doctor had me go back to the lab again on Wednesday for another blood test. They wanted my human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG) number to be 554 or higher. It was 128 on Saturday. I ended up having the same lab tech I had a few weeks ago for a different test in a different lab at a different hospital. She remembered me because we had talked about the fertility center and she mentioned her sister was also going there. As I was leaving the lab a few weeks ago she said, “I bet I’ll see you again and you’ll be pregnant!” She was right! I told her I am and she kept saying how awesome that is and how much she hopes her sister’s IUI goes as well as ours did. How crazy is that?

The fertility center called me back later Wednesday morning to say my level was 928 and that it is a great number and I should schedule my first ultrasound.

Nobody’s said anything yet to us yet, but I’m wondering if there’s more than one baby up in here. I think it’s twins, but I suppose we’ll have to wait and see what the official word is. It just seems if the numbers are twice what they want them to be, that maybe there’s more than one in there. The fertility center scheduled my 6-week ultrasound for the end of next week. I was scratching my head as to how it could be 6 weeks when it’s only been 4 weeks since the IUI. I was educated that they calculate from the date of your last period. I had no idea that’s how they decide dates and whatnot. Medical math! So strange!

We’ve told our siblings, my parents, and my husband’s boss the news. We’re waiting to tell my husband’s mom until I’m a little further along. She’s in a nursing home and we don’t want to get her all excited in case something goes wrong. It’s really hard to keep it a secret. I’ve told a few close friends who already knew about our infertility struggles and that we were doing IUI. One of those friends has been a really great source of support over the last two years because she’s been going through the same thing we have. I felt bad telling her, but she told me to keep her posted, so I did. She kind of avoided me for a few days. I think I will be careful in being too excited with her until she gets her positive. It hurts my heart to leave her out, but I don’t want her to feel like I’m celebrating while she’s still fighting a tough battle.

My husband and I have been talking about how to announce that we’re pregnant. I have no idea when you should or when you’re supposed to … seems like a situation that’s different for every person. I really don’t think I can hold in the secret for the entire first trimester. I want to do a fun photoshoot with our dog or something. Maybe we’ll arrange something after the first ultrasound.

I have a feeling I will have to tell work at some point. I am so exhausted that I can’t make it through the day without taking a nap. I’ve been going to bed at 8 p.m. and I’m still exhausted!  I’ve also been having crazy dreams. Last night’s dream included my bowels leaking out of a hole in my lower abdomen that I kept trying to patch up with gauze. What the hell?

The Plan

9 Jul

I took another pregnancy test this morning and it said the same thing. I’m still cautiously optimistic. If it’s still reading positive Saturday morning, I’m booking it over to the closest lab that’s open to get a blood test. I’ve told myself not to believe anything until I have a blood test to confirm it. Oh, the suspense!

I do not know how I will make it through today and tomorrow. The hours just seem to drag on and on!

Oops, I Did It Again?

8 Jul

I must be losing my mind if I’m quoting Brittany Spears in blog posts. When I got up this morning, I took another digital pregnancy test. It said, “Pregnant 1-2 Weeks” on it like it did yesterday.  Again, i’m cautious about getting my hopes up because the nurse told me you can get a false positive or negative if you test before the date they tell you, in my case 7/11 is the day. I’ve read numerous accounts on the dear interwebs about this very thing, too. Some ladies seem to like to test everyday and others wait until the day they were told. Me? I’m feeling rebellious.  For whatever reason, testing everyday until 7/11 is making me feel better. I’m going to keep doing it. I don’t care that I’m blowing through expensive pregnancy tests.

I’m wondering how long the Ovidrel trigger shot stays in your system. I took mine on 6/25. I had the IUI on 6/27. That means it’s been 13 days since the shot and 11 days since the IUI. Does Ovidrel stick around that long? I guess I’ll find out for sure on Saturday.

In other news, I am doing an okay job at keeping myself busy. Work is busy. My parents babysat our needy dog for a couple days, so we’ve had complete freedom every night to go out to eat and go to movies. Those are two pretty normal things that we rarely do because we have a dog that we can’t leave alone (long story). We usually take him to daycare if we have something going on. We both miss the dog, though. He’s coming home today.

UPDATE:

I found this on the internet:

Most doctors recommend that you wait 14 days after a 10,000 IU injection, 10 days after a 5,000 IU injection, or 7 days after a 2,500 IU injection.

I had 2,500 IU. If the above is true (which, okay, you never know about some things on the internet), that would mean it’s out of my system and these pregnancy results are real. Hmmm.

Couldn’t Leave It Alone

7 Jul

Curiosity got the better of me and I took a pregnancy test. I know, I know, it could be false whatever. I’m only 10 days past IUI. It was one of the digital early pregnancy tests … and it did say “Pregnant 1-2 weeks.”  I know, I know, it could be remnants of the trigger shot in my system. I know all these things and I did it anyway.

Now I’m terrified it’s a false positive. Is it sad that it was just nice to see the word “pregnant” on a stick? Because I’m not going to lie, it was kind of exhilarating seeing it. It was kinda like, “Okay, is there an actual human growing in me or is this just another roll of the dice?”

I must be patient until Saturday when I can test for real. TTC and the TWW are making me OCD. Who am I kidding? I’ll probably test everyday now up to Saturday and then again on Sunday!
Side note: Is anyone else out there annoyed by all the pregnancy-related acronyms? it’s a separate language and nobody who’s had to deal with this stuff has any idea what we are talking about. It’s like a secret club that nobody wishes they were a part of, myself included. .

The Waiting

7 Jul

I’ve been kind of quiet. That’s because waiting isn’t very exciting.

I asked my acupuncturist to mellow me out yesterday. Thinking about when I can take a test and just know if the IUI worked or not is making me a smidge crazy. I like to think that I’m a pretty patient person, but I feel so impatient right now. I just want to know already! Sadly, when I don’t know something, my thoughts always start creeping toward negative side of things and I start thinking that I’m not pregnant and that this didn’t work. I want so badly to remain positive about this, but I feel like if I get my hopes up too high, they’ll just come crashing down really hard when we can finally take a test on 7/11.

We spent 4th of July weekend being busy, which was good because it took my mind off thinking about the TWW.

I would like to say it’s mildly humorous how nearly every single bodily function or symptom can be attributed to possible early pregnancy. Thanks, internet! Surely my general tiredness is a symptom! Or how about peeing all the time? Or being eaten alive by mosquitos! I must be pregnant! The internet is both a blessing and a curse.

You Want Me To Do What? And, Hey, Let’s Wait.

28 Jun

Saturday was a whirlwind.

Husband got up early to go to the fertility clinic and create a specimen. He sent me a lovely photo of the “room” they put him in. It consisted of a toilet and a hospital recliner. Sexy times!

We both went back to the clinic later that morning and met with my acupuncturist. But before that happened, I got super nervous in the parking lot and had to run into the building to go to the bathroom. Thanks, nerves.

Once we arrived, my acupuncturist met us in the waiting room. He needled me up in the IVF recovery area, which is not exactly the optimal “chill” kind of places. Lights were on. People were talking. Music was playing. I hummed along to Tom Petty’s The Waiting and Journey’s Lovin’, Touchin’ Squeezin’. Before I knew it, I was getting de-needled and headed back to the waiting room.

I felt like i had a small entourage with my acupuncturist and husband both being there, my Reproductive Posse. Eventually, they took hubby and I back to a room where I disrobed from the waist down. The nurse came in, had us verify a bunch of facts — gotta make sure the seed is the seed you need!

The IUI procedure in itself didn’t last very long. It was similar to getting a pap smear. No big deal. Immediately after, they raise your derrière up in the air for 15 minutes and you lay there willing your mate’s boys to GO FOR THE GOLD. For me, it was longer because my acupuncturist came into the room and needled me up a second time. Which, you know, was only mildly awkward considering he could see all of my nether regions (I’m guessing) since I was only covered up by a flimsy paper cloth. Yeah, buddy! It’ll be fun looking you in the eye the next time I see you!

So, I laid there a 2nd time with more needles in me for about 20 minutes. Husband and I talked about random things while we waited. Then we were done, I got all the needles pulled out of me, and we left. In the car, he asked me if it was as good for me as it was for him. Ha, what a joker! Just a fun 3 hours at the fertility clinic on a Saturday hoping that it results in progeny!

Oh, before we left, the nurse said we can take a home pregnancy test in TWO weeks. Why do I feel like the next 13 (12, really) days are going to drag on and on and on and on? Oh, and she told me to start my progesterone today … but not orally. She told me to insert the pills vaginally. Say what, lady? You want me to do what?! Yes, insert the pills vaginally. Um, okay. Of course I looked online and other ladies have done this (of course). They all complained of stained underwear. Fun. Super. Time to break out the 2nd string undies.

And for now, we wait. And hope. And wait. And try not to think about it (HA!).

Stella Nash

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